Reasons for Jealousy

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Then you absolutely need to try this exercise in trust and patience. By the way, this means that you do whatever you can to deal with your jealousy when you're alone. Spend one-on-one time with each child when you can.

It can be hard to admit that you are having negative feelings, and it might be tempting to blame them on another. It was your feelings that cause the trouble, so take full responsibility for your actions.

Reasons for Jealousy

Long-distance relationships can be very hard. Recently, I received a question from Rajesh about how to deal with escalating suspicion, jealousy and fear while he and his girlfriend are miles apart and rarely see each other. Below is his story, and my response. I have a simple question. How to get rid of suspicion? Me and my girlfriend have a wonderful relation. But from last few months I have become very suspicious. Our relation is two years old. We live 1000 kms 625 miles apart and rarely meet, as she is attending a business school. Due to pressure of study she is busy most of the time and does not give the response she used to give. The matter looks simple, But I think I have complicated it very much. Most of the time I probe her and ask her routine and then I ask why she does not call. I know she is busy with her career, she has few close male friends too, quite obvious but some how I become very angry, I have even abused her. Till now she has taken it, but now I feel the relation is in turmoil. I know its my mistake most of the time but I am not able to control. For the last 6 or 7 months I have not done anything for myself. I am ruining my career and my day to day life. I know what should be ideal situation but I am helpless. I am not able to control my self. I do not want to loose her. She is the most precious thing for me. Thanks for entrusting me with your question, Rajesh. I feel your pain. The long-distance relationship is a trigger, but not the root cause. The reason you become suspicious is because you equate her not calling as often as a potential sign that she is no longer interested in this relationship. One of the sad tendencies of human relationships is that sometimes we tend to neglect relationships that feel secure to us. Once we start trusting that that relationship is secure, then you bump it off the top of the priority list. I can think of a situation where I would call back my business associates sooner than I call my wife — for this reason. I trust my wife and I trust that she understands when I say that I was too busy with my work. In a way, I am taking advantage of the strength of our relationship. The studies are overwhelming. When you call your boyfriend, he is very suspicious and gets mad at you on the phone. You have other friends nearby, with whom you can meet some of your social needs. Do you think this is a situation conducive for calling you? Getting out of a Vicious Circle I think you realize that your getting suspicious and getting mad at her is completely counter-productive. Who wants to call a person who makes you feel bad by being suspicious, asking probing questions and verbally abusing you? There are a couple of realizations that need to take place here. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make her like you. When she likes you, you graciously accept her. That kind of practice will backfire on you, sooner or later. So, what is it that you need her for? Does having such a great person for a girlfriend makes you feel significant? You alone have the ability to create such security. From Self Love to Power of Giving You have to really learn to love yourself. But you need to be happy with yourself on your own. So here are a few of suggestions I have for you: 1. Work on your insecurity. Whatever the reasons are, this practice must stop at once. Find other friends, talk to a trusted family member of a counselor, exercise, eat good food, get some sleep, take a vacation — do whatever it takes to nourish yourself and restore your own balance, on your own. In order to maintain a mature, stable relationship, you need to become self-sufficient first. Be there for her And whenever you talk to her, focus on her needs. You may not feel this way right now, but it can be quite joyful to willingly devote yourself to helping others with their needs. By focusing on the above two points, hopefully you can get to a place where you can focus on her needs primarily in this relationship, at least for a while, until the trust in the relationship is restored. The healing must begin inside you. Rajesh, use this occasion to learn this important lesson about your personal security and loving yourself. And learn to truly be there for her, in her time of needs. It is really special article for me, because all this time, i knew what was lacking in me, but was not ready to accept that. After reading this article i really got it inside me, i have accepted this and i make promise to work on it from this moment. It is gonna be life changing article for me. Thank you, Thank you from my deepest heart. I adore pretty much everything that is related to him. I hate being jealous. Please help me out. I am having a relation with my girlfriend for the past 5 yrs now. I love her a lot and she also loves me but sometimes i feel afraid that she will leave me. I was okay with the relation but i used to suspect my girlfriend a lot,and you wont believe that my suspection sometimes resulted in truth. She is studying her post-graduation now and am miles apart from her and we hardly meet. Now coming to college,after she went to college she used to tell me about one guy,and i used to yell at her,after few months she spent in college she brokeup with me stating the reason that i dont trust her,and she got engaged to that guy whom she met in college. After a month she called me back and was asking how i was all this while?

You keep yourself away from distractions and make yourself at ring with meditation. For instance, if you feel jealous of your partner's friend, think of all the ways those emotions might fit in a sentence. Every time you take a little step forward, share your joy with your partner or give yourself a little treat. These tips will help you glad and control this feeling. Jealousy is a feeling or rather, a complex mixture of feelingsbut it spills out in behavior. This is extremely important because texting is the most frequent and common way of communication the two of you have. I recently went to a u with friends, and noticed a couple becoming very affectionate at another table. Everyone has their own daily lives to get on with, so your partner will inevitably see other people — at work, at school, at parties — and all these people will get to spend more time with your met than you do.